Tag Archives: Hinduism

‘An Ideal Marriage’ and ‘Inconvenient Relations

Inconvenient relations C

An Ideal Marriage

If husband and wife respect the independence of one another, then boundaries and rules become extinct. Just like agreement or acceptance is the body of a relationship, isn’t independence the soul or aatma?

How to be An Ideal husband (From the Mahabharath- ancient Hindu scripture)

Cherish your wife as a blessing sent to you from heaven; let the kindness of your behavior endear you to her heart.

She is the mistress of your house; treat her therefore with respect, that your servants may obey her. Do not oppose her inclination without cause; she is the partner of your cares, make her also the companion of your pleasures.

Reprove her faults with gentleness; do not exact her obedience with rigor.

Trust your secrets in her breast; her counsels are sincere; you shall not be deceived.

Be faithful to her bed; for she is the mother of your children.

disillusion

“I bet you are one of the most beautiful brides in the world, but I’m sorry I cannot make love to you. There is someone else.”- Inconvenient Relations

Marriage is all about building trust and so is my book. When Shaan bluntly dismisses Ruhi on their wedding night, he leaves her feeling betrayed and disillusioned.

When something like this transpires it is very difficult to regain the trust, despite one’s best intentions and that leads to doubt, misunderstanding and emotional upheaval.

Will Ruhi come to terms with Shaan’s rejection and agree to an amicable separation? To find out more  read ‘Inconvenient Relations.’

 

Under the Shade of the Banyan

banyan-tree.jpgOriginal art by Sneha (oil pastel)

Under the Shade of the Banyan

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Banias conduct business

Gods meditate and recline

My leaves dispense knowledge

My structure reflects the world

Material and Spiritual

Study me

 I am the eternal tree

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The Banyan tree is the national tree of India and Bangladesh. The word Banyan comes from the Gujarati word Bania or trader. The word was picked up by the Portugese to refer to the Hindu traders who used to sit under the shade of these trees to conduct their business and passed it on to the English who began to refer to the ‘Banyan’ trees. 🙂

Interesting? Learn more here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banyan

‘Sindoor’ (the Vermilion powder on the forehead) & ‘Inconvenient Relations.’

sindoor1

“By placing this Sindoor on your forehead, I make you mine. I take you as my wife.”

Sindoor सिन्दूर : Hindi pronounced Sin-Dur is the red vermilion powder worn by married Hindu women along the Maang (parting) of their hair. Being in use since the Vedic era, it is also called ‘Kumkum’ when mixed with turmeric.

Why Sindoor or Kumkum?

Considered scientifically and spiritually beneficial, it absorbs the ‘bad’ influences and enhances the power of concentration through the 3rd chakra which is centered on the forehead in between the eyebrows. It also enhances feminine grace and beauty. RED is the color of love and passion and hence is worn by women to win the hearts of their husbands.

It signifies that the woman who wears it is married and under the protection of her husband, therefore no one dare make the mistake of casting the evil eye on her.

Red is also the color of fire and strength. By wearing it, even the slight unassuming Indian woman can assume the role of Shakti (the divine feminine power) not only to protect herself but also for the security of her children.

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Excerpt from ‘Inconvenient Relations’

You’re Mine

Ruhi saw Debo examining her curiously and realized that the sari had slipped off her shoulder while tending to Anu.

“What is up, dear? Where is your mangalsutra and sindoor? I noticed earlier but didn’t bring it up.”

 “Umm…the chain broke. I have given it for fixing.”

 “Then what about the sindoor?”

 “I…The whole thing fell on the carpet yesterday and made a mess. I have to go get some more.”

 “Ruhi look at me.” Debo gently propped her face up by the chin. “You consider me like your elder sister, right?”

 She answered with an apprehensive nod.

 “Then there are certain things, which are essential for a married Indian woman. It doesn’t matter what your husband may say, but you should not take them lightly. You should never go without your sindoor because it is an auspicious symbol of your marriage and also a sign that indicates your love will prosper. Therefore, even if you don’t have your wedding necklace, you should at least wear your sindoor.”

 “Yes, di, I will try to get some as soon as possible.”

 “Soon? Why not now?”

 Ruhi felt trapped as Debo dragged her to a tiny shrine and picked up a small silver receptacle full of the vermilion powder.

 “I can put it on, di, give it to me.”

 “No, I have a better idea. Shaan!” Debo called out.

 Ruhi felt upset; her body began to tremble.

 “What is it, bhabhi? Time for food?” Shaan appeared, smiling along with Sujoy.

 “Shaan, I didn’t expect this from you. I know you love your wife dearly, but letting her go about bareheaded. It is not right.”

 “Let them be, Debo, they are a modern couple. It’s their life. You don’t have to interfere.” Sujoy chimed in acutely embarrassed; his wife was quite the traditionalist.

“You keep out of it, Sujoy, I know my sister. She will listen to me.”

 She handed Shaan the receptacle and urged him, “Take this and put it back where it belongs with God as your witness and don’t ever let her go unadorned again.”

 Then as he hesitated, she asked, frowning, ”Is there something wrong between you two?”

 “No, of course not.” He looked at Ruhi who had grown completely silent.

 “Go ahead, Shaan,” Bee said softly, giving him permission.

 He pinched a small amount of the red powder and placed it firmly in the parting on her forehead. Not entirely certain why, but this makeshift ceremony appeared more meaningful to him than the one on his wedding day.

 “Perfect! Now my mishti bon looks like a bride, a very beautiful bride.”

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BUY LINKS

India Unveiled: Unity in Diversity

India is one of the most religiously diverse countries in the world.

It is the birthplace of Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism and Sikhism which are known as the Dharmic religions. Hinduism and Buddhism are the 3rd and 4th largest religions in the world with over 2 billion followers.

All these religions share some common rituals, traits and beliefs such as the concepts of karma (action or deed), dharma (duty), samsara (continuous flow of the cycle of birth, life, death and reincarnation), moksha (release of the soul from the cycle of samsara and end of all suffering) and yoga, though the interpretations may vary.

They also share the concept of cremation of the dead known as antim samskara or ‘last rites’; wearing of vermilion on the forehead by married women, as well as several marriage rituals.

Buddhism was originally founded by Siddhartha Gautama (Gautama Buddha) a Kshatriya prince turned ascetic somewhere between the 6th and 4th century BCE. Buddha meaning ‘the enlightened one’  taught ‘the Middle Way’ as the path that when followed leads to liberation.

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Karla Caves

Ancient Buddhist rock cut cave shrines located in Karli near Lonavala, in the state of Maharashtra, India about 150km from Mumbai. The oldest cave dates back to around 160 BC.

karla 1Caves cut deep into the rock.

karla 2Intricately hewn wall sculptures and scriptures

karla 3The Main Cave: Chaitya or Prayer Hall is the largest among all the Buddhist caves in India.

karla 4The Ashoka Pillar

karla 5

Gautama Buddha

koli danceAn unexpected treat! A group of tribal dancers caught in action outside the caves.

Holy Cow!

sneha3 822A decorated cow in the great Meenakshi temple, located in the city of Madurai, in the state Tamil Nadu, South India.

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Indeed, in Hindu culture and religion the cow is revered as the Goddess mother, a symbol of Ahimsa or nonviolence and of wealth and fortune.

In the Rig Veda (An ancient Indian collection of sacred Sanskrit Hymns,) the cow is identified with Aditi (the mother of Gods.)

Vegetarianism is encouraged.

“There is no sin in eating meat… but abstention brings great rewards.” (The Laws of Manu, V/56)

Cows were also considered appropriate as gifts for high caste Hindus or Brahmans and to kill a cow is equal to killing a Brahman.

“Among the cows, I am the wish giving Kama Dhenu” (Lord Krishna states in Bhagavad Gita: Chap 10 Verse 28)

Many Hindus are against the consumption of beef. Some Indian states have even passed laws which makes the slaughter of cows a serious offence.

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cowees.jpgA wondrous painting of an elephant and a cow on the ceiling of the Madurai Meenakshi temple.

India Unveiled – Cultures and traditions

sneha3 311Buland Darwaza or ‘Victory Arch’: An imposing piece of architecture set in the south wall of Jama Masjid in Fatehpur Sikri near Agra. The city served as Emperor Akbar’s capital from 1571-1585.

Indians in general are deeply rooted in tradition. Our culture gives us our identity. Most of us (especially those living away from the homeland,) cling to it, even though several aspects especially in these modern times, make no sense at all.

Why do we do so?

Perhaps because it brings us together as a community and provides us comfort in a foreign environment. The same I think applies to immigrants from all across the globe.

Here I will try to expand a little (very little,) on the various aspects of Indian culture, traditions, customs, beliefs, religion, art, architecture, music, dance, cuisine and so on.. Essentially all the things that defines my country to me and others in my community and which I hope would help people of non Indian origin understand India and Indianness a little better.

I encourage everybody to pitch in, and take the opportunity to discuss possible similarities or dissimilarities which exist between our various cultures.

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Let me start with a subject which continues to baffle a lot of people in the west: Arranged Marriages. 

I have been asked by some of my friends to elaborate on the tradition of arranged marriages and explain why they continue to be so popular, as well as describe the various rituals which take place during a typical wedding.

As a part of Hindu culture, arranged nuptials remain resilient even today despite the invasion of modern thought into every aspect of  Indian society. Times are definitely changing but many young Indians still prefer it.

Why?

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