Tag Archives: romance

Windows

 

Windows

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Clean windows, plain, glass, open, close, bright,

Light, shaded, paned, shuttered, blinded, boarded,

Rusty, dirty, smoky windows.

Broken, shattered, run down windows

Windows that protect and hide,

a mirror to the world outside

and sometimes to the world within

unraveling layer by layer, revealing,

A tool for introspection and scrutiny,

A glance into a soul, full of secrets and smokescreens,

Evasion, denial, half-truths

Windows, they tell it all.  

PS: The photograph is a view of the shops on Ponte Vecchio (old bridge) across the Arno River, in Florence, Italy.

PPS: Like the poem? If so do check out my poetry and short story collection ‘Under the Shade of the Banyan Tree’

Rhythm & Blues Chap 5: Getting into the Swing

nariman point

Nariman Point, Mumbai

Link to all chapters

Chap 5: Getting into the Swing

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“Where are we?” Khanak asked looking around curiously, she had been so busy talking and watching out for Horse’s antics, she hadn’t realized that the car had come to a halt.

“We are in a southern suburb of Mumbai called ‘Malabar Hills,’ home to many of the rich and famous but most importantly a place where you can find great views!” Shan declared not without some pride. He owed it to his tremendous success first as a model, then as a dancer who later started his own dance company with every show sold out well in advance. He had quickly acquired enough moolah to be able to afford to invest in his own penthouse along with a small private studio in this locale which was no small achievement. He owned a much larger studio downtown, but this was where his most innovative ideas took shape, right in front of the Nariman point skyline.  

“I can carry it!”She moved to stop him as he picked up her small suitcase.

“No, I’m going to try to impress you as much as I can now, so you won’t rush to leave when I put you to work!” He laughed snatching the bag out of her reach.

“Just the one? You travel light, I like that.” He nodded in approval but not before throwing her a puzzled glance.

Khanak looked around stunned at the greenery. This was an unexpectedly pleasant sight in the midst of the concrete jungle that Mumbai shehar (city) was notorious for.

They rode the elevator in silence, Khanak still trying to absorb everything while being completely unaware that her companion was using the opportunity to give her a thorough once over.

“What is this place?” Khanak asked for the first time following hesitantly as he led the way to the only door on the entire top floor. Horse was already there sitting waiting patiently.

Shan threw the door open.”Welcome to my humble abode!” He announced with a grand sweep of his hand.

She stepped in, stood still for several moments then slowly turned  around appearing dazed.

“Sorry but sometimes the stage ‘me’ catches up!” He laughed loudly at his own joke but she didn’t appear to hear.She was busy taking in the large area luxuriously fitted with plush modern furniture and tastefully decorated with a variety of eclectic and exotic artwork.  

I like to collect and travel” he said answering her unasked query.

 It was a very upscale and vibrant setting befitting his flamboyant personality, a far cry from her own home (or house as she preferred to call it now, that she had for such a long time shared with people whom  until recently she had considered as her family,) in Chennai which though quite decent in size appeared very ordinary in comparison.

The thought brought tears to her eyes, for she missed that ordinary house where her most beloved memories had taken shape and no matter how hard she tried she knew she’d never be able to forget it. She quickly turned away and dabbed at her eyes

“Anything bothering you?”

“No, I’m fine, just something in my eyes, probably it’s all the soot and grime from the train journey.” She turned and flashed a smile which seemed to stun him for a while.

But Horse could not be fooled, he came to sit at her feet and regarded her with pensive dark brown eyes.

Wow Man! This girl is not only a powerhouse of talent but is also a raving beauty! You need to be careful around her or you just might get carried away! Shan thought trying to tear his eyes away from Khanak who managed to look gorgeous even in her run down day old clothes.

She colored under his intense gaze,”You have a beautiful place! Ismein aap ke saath aur kaun rehta hai?” (Who else lives with you here?) 

“Aap? Please call me tum! I don’t like formalities!” He paused waiting for her to comply.

“Okay Tum (You/informal.)This guy is certainly temperamental!

He smiled appearing satisfied, “That’s better and to answer your question.. No, nobody else lives here other than me and Horse of course!” He said gesturing towards the huge Akita.”As far as I can tell,  I am the sole King of this roost!”

“What? No one else?” She asked feeling suddenly nervous,”No parents, no brothers or sisters?”

“Nope!” He shrugged his shoulders. “My family doesn’t live in Mumbai. In fact we don’t exactly get along but that’s a long story! Though I have to admit sometimes it gets lonely here.” But not anymore, now that I have someone to share it with. He grinned giving her a slight wink.

This was not at all what she had expected, but the Mumbai experience so far had been full of surprises.“No! I, I can’t live here! I didn’t know..that, you lived alone!” Khanak said twirling one end of thin fabric of her dupatta  around her fingers while her mind raced trying to figure a way out.

“Why, what’s the problem?” He asked casually. “I have plenty of space to spare, and Horse who is usually the biggest hurdle seems to have taken very well to you! In fact he seems to like you better than his own master even!” He looked wryly at his dog who seemed to have appointed himself as Khanak’s personal shadow.

“I’m sorry! I should have asked you to take me to a hotel tonight, then I could look for a rental tomorrow.” She replied .

“Why? Why do you need to do that?” He was puzzled, “You  are free to stay here as long as you like, I’m not expecting any company. In fact it’ll be most convenient to be able to work with you on your skills and so on.”

“You don’t understand, I just can’t stay here alone with you! It wouldn’t be right!” She declared nervously. When he raised his eyebrows still not getting her dilemma, she thought, he’s either terribly naive or an awesome actor. “In the society that I come from, single girls and guys living together isn’t socially acceptable!” She elaborated patiently.

“Oh! I’m sorry, I should have realized that you belong to the old school. I thought you were a modern and progressive woman of today but instead you seem to have erupted from the dark ages! Boys and girls cannot be friends etc, etc.” He laughed and she detected a certain amount of derisive amusement in it. He wasn’t acting casual anymore,rather he looked irritated. “My interest in you is purely professional and nothing beyond that. I can’t say that I won’t touch you, I have too, the dancing entails it. But I give you my solemn promise that I’ll not step over the line. I don’t go about forcing myself on women especially those who aren’t my type!”

 She felt the sting in his words but held his stare without flinching. “Being modern and progressive does not necessarily mean giving up one’s culture and the way one has been raised. I have lived a sheltered existence all my life and believe that society has certain norms for our own good. I don’t blindly follow them all but there are some I truly believe in.”

“Okay alright! You don’t have to lecture me, I’ve had a long day. It’s too late to go looking for a hotel right now, so please stay here tonight. I can have someone help you find other accommodations in the morning.” He said looking frustrated.

She didn’t like the idea but didn’t know what else to do, there was nobody else she could turn to without raising an alarm regarding her whereabouts. She was at his mercy and she didn’t like it. Perhaps I shouldn’t have come here after all, maybe Anand would have understood? No, I can’t go back! Anything is better than leading a cloistered existence! I’m sure chachu would not hesitate to restrict my movements, he may even put me under house arrest! Khanak shuddered at the very thought and decided that staying here was the lesser of two evils.

 While she was thus occupied analyzing her dire situation, she was unaware that Shan at the same time was regarding her with equal curiosity. This girl was a proving to be quite a mystery, there were a lot of questions that were unanswered. She somehow appeared different from the ebullient and happy person he’d seen when he’d last met her. She appeared preoccupied for some unknown reason, not excited as he’d expect someone to be under the circumstances. And why had she arrived so suddenly without even giving him a call? Was there something else going on that she didn’t want to reveal? Damn Shan! What is wrong with you? Aren’t you acting unduly harsh? Looking at her now, she appeared distressed, miserable and profoundly anxious. ****! She’s my guest for crying out loud! And I haven’t even asked her to take a seat!
“DAMNIT!”

“Huh?” For a moment she had forgotten where she was.

“I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have said all that! You’ve been travelling without proper rest or food and me here acting so insensitive!” His charm was back in full vigor, he appeared a different man altogether.

He walked down a long corridor and held open a door. “here’s a guest room, you are welcome to use it to freshen up and change if you wish.”

“No, I’ll be fine.” She hesitated.

“Hey don’t worry, you can lock the door from the inside. And even if you don’t, I always knock. I know you’ll be itching to wash up after your long journey.” He said encouragingly.

“Thanks, I think I’ll change.” She uttered gratefully walking past him into the large room.

“Horse don’t! The lady needs her privacy!” He shouted as his Akita followed her inside.

“It’s alright, he seems harmless. I think I’m starting to like him.” She said with a slight smile before closing the door.

“Lucky Dog!” Shan whispered before sauntering back into the living room thinking a dog’s life wasn’t too bad at all.

 Maybe I should order some chow. Food always helps initiate a conversation, maybe it’d get her to open up. He thought before putting on some David Sanborn on the music system.

After sometime when Khanak ventured back from the guest room, she was surprised to hear the sounds of loud jovial laughter against the background of some lovely Jazz music.

She hesitated standing in the periphery seeing that her host had been joined by a couple of others, an extremely thin, anorexic looking girl who was literally hanging onto Shan’s arm looking like she could hardly support her own weight and a tall athletic looking man who was lounging against the kitchen island with his back toward her. The girl was wearing a halter top and a tiny skirt while the man was wearing a sleeveless T and shorts which showed off his long, slim and powerful legs.

Khanak felt overdressed when she glanced down at her deep mauve suit which though a perfect fit covered her completely. Maybe I should get into something less formal, she thought heading back to the room when Shan called out.

“Hey Khanak, we’ve been waiting for you! Tarun, Trish! I present to you our new lead dancer Ms. Khanak Mishra! And Khanak meet Tarun and Trish, the weirdest brother and sister duo in the world. Tarun also happens to be the lead dancer of my company.”

“What? That’s great news Shan!” The young man called Tarun spun around to look at her and his eyes widened in surprise.

Khanak saw the resemblance between the brother and sister right away, they had the exact same eyes, but Tarun was by far more good looking and he wore his wavy hair slightly long which framed his high cheeked boned face to perfection.

Was Shan drunk when he chose this girl in the lead role? Tarun stared unabashed at Khanak, not believing that she fit their requirements.She’s a stunner alright but looks more like a village belle than somebody who can swing a leg or twist a hip he thought while looking enquiringly at Shan who knew exactly what was going on in his mind. He grinned and took him aside.

“She’s my surprise package.”

“What surprise package, darling? She looks like she’s going to stand up anytime and advertise for a washing detergent! Look at the amount of clothes she’s wearing! Does she even understand the language we are speaking?” Trish said pertly wrinkling her nose at Khanak.

“Trish! If you talk like that to my guest I’ll ask you to leave right away!”

Khanak laughed good naturedly, “Oh I didn’t mind that! That is truly quite funny Trish! Is that your name? By the way my name is Khanak, and it’s really nice to meet you.” She extended a hand toward her..

“Ahh! At least you can speak and no I’m not really pleased to meet you.” Trish walked away without giving her a second glance.

 Horse growled.

“Let’s see if you can dance to this!” Tarun in the meantime had changed the music. “It’s swing time!”

He took Khanak’s hand and pulled her to the center of the room and started to swing her around twisting and turning so quickly that she felt lightheaded.

“Tarun stop it! You are being rude! She hasn’t had anything to eat or drink in a long time! Are you alright?” Shan asked jumping to her aid.

“No, I’m fine.” She said recovering quickly and smiled.”It was just so sudden.”

She took a long sip of the water that Tarun offered, he was feeling guilty. “Can you play it again?” She asked and as Tarun obliged, started to dance on her own expertly. “You know I used to watch some old Fred Astaire movies with my Guru who was his big fan and an expert tap dancer to boot!”

“Wow! That’s awesome!” Tarun shouted joining her and threw her into a spin and this time she didn’t complain. Shan watched the two with an inscrutable look on his face while Trish looked on with marked surprise and obvious jealousy.

“I think that’s enough for tonight! Ms. Mishra has proven that she can dance and quite well at that! But modern dance is quite a different ballgame altogether! We will test those waters tomorrow!”  Shan announced curtly before stopping the music though it took a while for Tarun to let Khanak go. 

Later after all of them had finished a quick Pizza dinner, Khanak lay on the bed in the guest room acutely missing her old home, not sure how long could she manage to stay away. “I wonder what is it about me that is so upsetting to him?” Khanak wondered while Shan stood staring out at the brilliantly lit skyline thinking just the same.

Some great music for swing dancing! 🙂

‘An Ideal Marriage’ and ‘Inconvenient Relations

Inconvenient relations C

An Ideal Marriage

If husband and wife respect the independence of one another, then boundaries and rules become extinct. Just like agreement or acceptance is the body of a relationship, isn’t independence the soul or aatma?

How to be An Ideal husband (From the Mahabharath- ancient Hindu scripture)

Cherish your wife as a blessing sent to you from heaven; let the kindness of your behavior endear you to her heart.

She is the mistress of your house; treat her therefore with respect, that your servants may obey her. Do not oppose her inclination without cause; she is the partner of your cares, make her also the companion of your pleasures.

Reprove her faults with gentleness; do not exact her obedience with rigor.

Trust your secrets in her breast; her counsels are sincere; you shall not be deceived.

Be faithful to her bed; for she is the mother of your children.

disillusion

“I bet you are one of the most beautiful brides in the world, but I’m sorry I cannot make love to you. There is someone else.”- Inconvenient Relations

Marriage is all about building trust and so is my book. When Shaan bluntly dismisses Ruhi on their wedding night, he leaves her feeling betrayed and disillusioned.

When something like this transpires it is very difficult to regain the trust, despite one’s best intentions and that leads to doubt, misunderstanding and emotional upheaval.

Will Ruhi come to terms with Shaan’s rejection and agree to an amicable separation? To find out more  read ‘Inconvenient Relations.’

 

Rhythm & Blues Chap 4: Break Free

R and B

Chap Links

Chap 4: Break Free

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Dadar station(Major Railway/Train Station in Mumbai, India)

“CHAIYAA! CHAIYA GARAM GARAM CHAIYA!!! Madam Chai?” (Tea! Tea! Hot hot Tea..! Madam Tea?)

Khanak woke up with a start and looked bleary eyed at the thin almost emaciated child with very bright eyes, who was extending a glass full of the milky brown brew. It took her a little while to realize where she was.

Then it all came back to her. What had transpired more than 24 hrs ago; the shock, the tears of anger and disappointment at being considered a liability by her uncle. Why hadn’t her parents  taken her along on their fatal journey? Then she wouldn’t been alive to face this day.

“Nahin chahiye.” (I don’t want it.) She shook her head in the negative.

“Madam..coolie (porter) ?”

“No thanks, mein theekh hoon!” (No thanks, I am fine!)

“Aho bai, tumcha samaan jast bhari aahe! Tumchaashi uchaalal janar nahi” (No madam, your bag is really heavy! You won’t be able to lift it!)

“Kya? Hindi mein bolo!” (What? Say in Hindi!)

“Madam aapka saaman bahut bhaari aahe! (Madam your luggage is very heavy!) Lifting very difficult!” The heavy set rotund and cheerful porter replied in an admixture of Hindi and English.

Everybody seems to be living a wonderful life except me.

“Meine jab nahin kaha toh nahin samjhe!?”(When I say no, I mean no, understand?) She replied sternly.

“Nahi bai saheb, mein uchalun ghein, tumchi je iccha asel te deun dya!” (No madam I will take it, you pay me whatever you wish!) Persisted the coolie now in Marathi tugging at the handle of her black suitcase trying to wrench it from her grasp.

“No you say whatever, but I won’t relent!” She shouted back clutching tightly at the article in contention in which she had hastily packed a few last minute essentials after making the decision to leave the dwelling which she’d called her home for 20+ years. That and she also held on to her shoulder bag as if her life depended on it because it contained all the money she called her own and the big wad of notes which her aunt had thrust into her hand upon chancing on her intentions.

“Okay Bubbly, even if I wish to I can’t ask you to stay because I know I won’t be able to change your uncle’s decision.”

Khanak nodded in agreement. She was yet to come across anyone as hard headed.

“But I will miss you a lot and so will Shreya!”

“Yes, I know. But I see no other option. I don’t want to get married before I make a name for myself, become somebody. At least I want to give it a fair try.” Khanak held her aunt’s hand in earnest. She loved her both as a mother and a friend.

“How will you go about it my child? Where will you go? You haven’t been much on your own at all. Sometimes I think we’ve both cloistered you too much.” Worry furrowed Komal’s brow.

“You meant well, no parent…” Khanak caught herself, “you did what you thought was best. Don’t bother. I’m a city girl and I can take care of myself.” She’d left her with those strong words.

So much for my confidence! Khanak thought as she got down from the train, her mind still a sea of conflicting thoughts and emotions. Have I been too impulsive? She glanced around nervously at the milieu of confused humanity around her; everybody seemed to be heading somewhere or the other, with not a second to spare.

Maybe I should’ve tried to reason with chachu? She wondered briefly before promptly dispelling the thought. No! Who am I trying to fool?  I’d have just bought myself permanent shackles! Khanak shivered at the terrifying image.

She picked her way towards the exit and dialed the number of a friend she knew who resided in Mumbai, working and living independently away from her family. Khanak had always admired her but never quite understood why she insisted on staying alone; but now she did.

She heard an automated voice message; “This is Vandana. Unfortunately I won’t be available for the next several days. I’m getting married!”

Khanak’s heart sank. Getting married? As far as she could remember, her friend had been determined to remain a spinster for the rest of her life but as things had changed for her, maybe they had for her Vandana too.

She sat down on her suitcase, feeling more despondent than ever. She didn’t want to give up after having come this far. Her hand groped for and found the card deep inside her purse. It was the only avenue left.

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Rhythm & Blues Chap 3: Dreams and Schemes

R and B

Chap links

Chap 3: Dreams and Schemes

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Introducing Trish: Shan’s neighbor and ‘unofficial girlfriend’ who had escaped the clutches of her way too rich and overbearing parents and chosen to live in ‘hiding’ in Mumbai. She was supported by her brother Tarun who had resorted to the same earlier and now had established himself as a pretty successful model and dancer working in Shantanu’s company. But she had been too lazy to look for a job and this was a frequent bone of contention between her and her brother and a source of amusement for Shan who tolerated her only because she made him laugh.

 

Mumbai city: Home of Bollywood and the financial center of India

“Hey boyfriend! What’s biting you? Why didn’t you call me when you came in last night?”A pretty girl strolled without bothering to knock, into the swank top floor penthouse apartment of Shantanu Khadelwal, owner and artistic director of Jhankaar; a leading music and dance company based in Mumbai. She had borrowed the keys a long time ago; never remembering to return it. Why would she, after all she considered herself Shan’s unofficial girl friend.

Shan didn’t answer; he didn’t to a lot of her questions. Either he pretended not to hear or simply shrugged his powerful shoulders and flashed his 1000 watt smile.

 

She looked on in awe while he did his routine 100 pushups with his large Akita ‘Horse’ on his back who weighed close to 75 lbs. He’d been with him since a puppy, (a gift from one of his Oriental admirers) and ever since he’d used him as weights. It was another thing altogether that Horse had decided that he liked the position and had stuck to it ever since.

“I hope he doesn’t get any weightier or he’s sure to break your back one day,” Abhay had warned him several times and Shan had dismissed it in his usual fashion; he loved Horse.

But there was no love lost between the Akita and Trish and he let her know so with a low growl. He didn’t like anybody acting possessive with his master whom he guarded jealously.

“Why don’t you get rid of him Shan? What will happen when I start living with you?” Trish had ventured hesitantly one day, though she knew the answer already.

“That won’t ever happen as long as I have Horse with me. I don’t intend to give him up for anybody!” Shan’s short and blunt retort had ended any further discussion on the topic.

He wiped himself down with a towel and looked at Trish absently, “When did you get here?”

“I’ve been here for the past 10 minutes talking my head off but you never listen; do you?”

Shan smiled taking off his ear phones, “now what were you saying?”

Trish rolled her eyes–Shan and his music, constant companions.“Why didn’t you call me when you landed last night, I could have come over. I missed you like anything.”

Shan disengaged himself from her embrace, went over to the kitchen and poured himself a tall glass of Orange Juice. “Is there some sort of rule that I should call you?”

“Am I not your girl friend?”

“You’re just a friend, nothing more.”

“What about all those kisses and I love yous?”

“Just friendly ones; have I ever implied anything else?”

“No…,” she had to reluctantly agree knowing well she wouldn’t be able to win the argument. They’d had it already several times in the past.

Choosing to change the topic, she settled herself on one of the bean bags which lay scattered on the floor while her host made his eggs and smoothie breakfast.

“Want some? It’s a new recipe.” He asked knowing well she’d been aiming toward a size zero and had chosen to go on a salad and soup diet so to bag a top modeling assignment or audition for a movie. He didn’t approve of it at all.

“Naah! Too much cholesterol and calories!” She waved a royal hand in dismissal. “By the way did you hear about Tashu’s accident? Have you found a replacement yet? Why don’t you give me a shot?”

Shan laughed watching her try to do a pirouette. “You should try out for the circus, they will snatch you up in a heartbeat. You have two left feet. The girl who is going to dance for me has to be exceptional because Jhankaar is exceptional. Tashu did fit the role perfectly.”

“Blah, blah, blah! Tashu, Tashu all the time! Isn’t there anyone else besides her who can dance in this world?!” Trish exclaimed rolling her eyes.

“There is somebody who could take her place; if only she knew what she wants.” Shan murmured softly thinking of Khanak.

“What did you say?” Trish asked absently turning up the volume of her favorite TV show.

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Rhythm & Blues Chap 2: Tumult

R and B

Chap 1

Chap 2: Tumult

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Khanak flipped the card over, feeling the texture with her sensitive fingers. Hmm expensive card stock; Mr. SK isn’t exactly foraging for a living. She perused the lettering;

Shantanu Khandelwal

Owner and Artistic Director

Jhankaar music and Dance Company

 It was followed by a contact number; simple and to the point.

Very unusual for an entertainment company; it either spelt arrogance and self confidence or simply fame.

Then out of impulse she brought the card up to her nostrils and sniffed—a distinctive, unmistakably male scent that immediately conjured up an image of a pair of gorgeously seductive brown eyes. She recoiled as if stung and let the card drift to the floor.

What am I thinking? A hand drifted up to a rapidly fluttering heart. Control yourself, Khanak… such thoughts are forbidden. Girls such as you don’t think that way, at least not before marriage and not for somebody other than your husband!

She glanced at the card as it lay innocently on the floor. Let it lie, she had no use for it. This was her home; where she belonged. Turning the lights out, she settled down to sleep.

 

Meanwhile at the Chennai airport:

“Shan! It’s of no use dude! She won’t come! Girls like her are very traditional. Her parents would never agree.”

“But I thought I saw something in her eyes, a hunger to break out of the mold, to become famous! She has it in her Abhay!” He waited till the very last moment before dejectedly joining the line.

A Bright and early morning at the Mishra household in Chennai:

Like everyday it was greeted with the fragrance of agarbattis and the rhythm of bells; dancing bells which Khanak wore on her feet as she practiced her dance routine. She had done so without interruption ever since the tender age of five when she had begun learning Bharathnatyam.

Her aunt Komal, Shreya’s mother, frequently advised her to take it easy, “After so many years, dance must have become ingrained into every atom of your being; then why the need for such rigorous practice?”

“No matter chachi (aunt), the first and foremost principle of mastering any form of art is practice, practice and good practice, without which the artist will become a langur (monkey) as my Guruji says and I certainly don’t want that, do you?” Khanak laughed.

Komal shook her head, laughing along. Despite being a very mature and talented artist Khanak at times younger than Shreya who was two years her junior, “No baba, then your sasural wale (in-laws) will accuse me of sending a chimpanzee instead of the orangutan you already are!”

“Oh no chachi! I’m not going anywhere! I want to stay here with you as your monkey forever.”

“Yes my dear, you will stay with me always.” Her aunt nodded though without conviction.

Khanak was Komal and Sharat Mishras niece. Ever since her parents had been killed in a train accident when she was barely two years old, Sharat (her father’s younger brother) and his wife had taken her in and she loved them as her own parents. They had never differentiated between her and Shreya or their older son Shyam who adored her and was very protective. He was an officer in the Indian Army and had just been promoted to the rank of Lieutenant Colonel. They were all very proud of him.

But this morning found Khanak distracted and unable to concentrate. She was feeling unusually irritable and listless.

“Bubbly di!”

She turned around briskly to see Shreya standing at the door grinning mischievously.

Khanak snapped, “What’s up? Don’t you see I’m busy?”

“What’s the matter di? You look all red and flustered as though you’ve been caught doing something you shouldn’t.” Shreya sauntered in hiding something behind her back.

Khanak ignored her cousin and began practicing her mudras–she had beautifully expressive hands. Shreya watched fascinated.

“Nothing, I’m just not myself today. I didn’t sleep well last night.”

“Aha! So that’s the secret behind the card. Your prince charming! Mr. Shantanu Khandelwal! Shall I tell brother and Anand?”

Khanak broke her pose and snatched at the card that Shreya was brandishing over her head. It wouldn’t do for her to spread the word. The whole household would turn upside down. The only reason why she’d been able to continue learning classical dance was because of Komal aunty’s and Shyam’s continued support and only because she had caught the eye of her Guruji as someone who possessed the potential of becoming a major exponent of the art.

Her uncle had never been for it. He was a staunch proponent of the old school which maintained that girls from good families do not perform on stage. “After schooling daughters take care of the home and hearth. It is our culture,” he often reiterated.

“Stop it Shree! He was someone who saw me as Shakuntala and wanted to know if I would be willing to join his dance company and I refused. That’s all! And don’t you dare tell anybody!”

“Aww… but di! What an incredible opportunity! Big city stage, international exposure, name, fame, I can already see your name blazing in neon: Khanak the diva of dance!” Shreya exclaimed, clasping her hands together and gazed dreamily into the distance unaware that she was giving voice to Khanak’s dreams.

“Not all dreams come true. So stop before chachu (uncle) comes to know about it!”

“Now what are we hiding from chachu? Are we making plans to go to a late night movie?” Komal walked in smiling brightly, bearing a string of fresh mallipoo (Jasmine flowers,) which she attached lovingly to Khanak’s luxurious mane; a daily ritual.

“Now my Khanak looks like an angel; Anand is very lucky indeed.” She stepped back to admire her niece whose thick black tresses contrasted most wonderfully with her smooth, glowing complexion and her classically perfect features which she had inherited from her mother.

 Anand Vaidyanathan and his family had been their neighbors for as long as Khanak could remember.  Her senior by a few years; he worked as an engineer for a major software company and  was doing very well. Khanak had always considered him a close friend and confidant.

“Why is Anand lucky? Are you hiding something from me chachi?” Khanak asked, suddenly anxious.

“Bubbly di, Anand and his parents…” Shreya began.

“Shh! Let me tell her.” Komal said turning to Khanak. She grasped her hands, “Anand and his parents are coming over to see you today!”

“But why?”

“Well, for some time we have known that you like each other and Anand is a gem of a boy. He worships the ground you walk on.”

“What are you implying?”

“I’m just saying that Anand is leaving for the States soon. His parents want him to settle down before he leaves. So when they asked him, he made it quite clear that he wished to marry you and no one else.  Your uncle obviously couldn’t refuse such a wonderful proposal!”

Khanak witnessed her whole world come crashing down around her. “But what about my opinion; did anyone care to ask me what I want? Yes, I do like Anand but only as a friend. I don’t love him; for me that is key for a happy marriage. Anyway I’m not interested in all that right now. I want to make a name for myself and I’ve barely begun my journey! Please, say that it’s a joke; a very cruel one but a joke nevertheless!” Khanak pleaded with desperation in her eyes.

“My child, I wish it was but it isn’t. You know your chachu quite well; once he makes up his mind no one can change it. I tried very hard but he is not willing to listen.”

 “But I cannot marry Anand! I cannot!” Khanak collapsed onto the floor.

“But di!” Shreya interjected, “Anand is such a nice guy!”

Komal said, “From what I’ve seen, Anand is a young man with a very steady head on his shoulders.  If you speak to him, I’m sure he will understand. He will never force your hand. He loves you way too much to hurt you.”

Khanak stared at her Aunt through tear filled eyes, “What do you mean?”

 “Yes, I’ve seen it in his eyes, whenever he looks at you. Though he has probably never said so. He won’t refuse you anything.”

Khanak smiled wanly. She’d always thought she knew Anand very well. She’d never had any inkling of his feelings towards her. Never had he done anything to make her suspect it. He had always been a ready, caring companion and friend— her best friend.

tbc

Rhythm & Blues Prologue/Chap 1: Follow Your Dreams

R and B

Rhythm and Blues

This story is my humble tribute to the wonderful world of music and dance.

Chap 1: Follow Your Dreams

-0-

Chennai city one December evening:

It was a pleasant evening in this major metropolis of the south. This city has a reputation of being more or less not a very ‘happening’ place when compared to the other major hot spots in the country. But things have started to perk up. Many more shopping plazas such as malls, chic restaurants, and other means for time pass entertainment besides the traditional movies, classical music and dance shows had added more columns to the city’s CV. The noveau riche from the professional 20 – 30 some things had started showing interest in spending rather than conserving their sizable incomes that was diametrically opposite to the Pravachans of their fathers and forefathers. But then who cares?

Yet there were some things that hadn’t changed and perhaps never would such as the welcoming of each new day with the haunting chant of ‘Suprabhatam,’ on the radio, the refreshing aroma of South Indian filter coffee, the humongous crowds lining up outside cinema theatres to watch Rajni God’s movies, and the ritual congregation of our ‘Gossip Ammas (mothers)’ every evening at the corner temple. As Schools, colleges, government offices and banks closed down for the day; children, youngsters and adults made their way back home to relax and rejuvenate.

One among them was a sprightly young woman in a bright blue-green cotton salwar suit, riding one of the innumerable Scooties which plastered the busy streets every day. She made her way down Cathedral, turned left on Binny then headed toward Stella Maris College, one of the premiere institutes of higher education for young women in Chennai. Parking in front of the gates, she frantically searched the faces of the young women drifting out, hoping she hadn’t missed her cousin again. Removing her helmet, she shook out her thick wavy black hair, and pulled out her mobile.

As she waited for a response, her wandering eyes spotted her cousin’s familiar slim figure across the street at a bus stop apparently enjoying a tete- a- tete with a tall young man dressed in standard office attire. Sensing a mixture of relief and irritation, she crossed over and tried to catch her attention. When several attempts were not met with success rather stirred up unwanted male interest she hollered;

“Shreya! Shreya!”

Shreya stopped her chatter mid sentence and looked up to find her cousin Khanak, looking her usual bright and beautiful self, not so subtly waggling her eyebrows at her.

With a markedly guilty look on her face, she hurried up to her cousin without so much as a goodbye to her good looking companion.

“Sorry di, but when you didn’t show up I thought I’d take the bus home,” she blurted out in a hurry in an attempt to ward off the inevitable questions that were bound to follow.

But Khanak was too sharp to be dissuaded so easily. Turning her scootie around and indicating her cousin to sit behind her she said sternly,

“Accha bahana dhoondha hai! (You have found a great excuse) Disn’t I call just 10 min ago saying that I’m running a little late? Did you forget everything after seeing Mr. Cool Dude?”

“No di (elder sister) I…”

“Leave it! I was just teasing!” Khanak laughed, “but you have been very secretive! Never mentioned your bus stop buddy! What’s up?”

“Khanak! Shreya said relieved. “Thank Heavens! You really had me really scared there for a while! I was just advancing my Swayamvar (self selection of husband)!”

“What? Are you planning to get married? Or run away? What will mom and dad say when they find out or do they already know and am I the only one steering blind?”

“No Khanak it’s not what you think! Anyways these things wouldn’t make sense to a crackpot like you who always is in favor of ‘Life taking its own course.’ But that’s not me, I believe in action. I’ve already started the procedure of audition and elimination. It may take a few years before I find him but I anticipate loads of fun in the process! What say Ms. Dancing Doll, shall I start one for you too? Will surely get applicants aplenty with your incredible allure and out of the world talents!” Shreya giggled; her excitement infectious.

Khanak laughed but shook her head vehemently, “Thanks but no thanks! You are not going to change my mind. In fact you are sure to get into trouble soon yourself! Better abandon these foolhardy projects! Where do you get these ideas? Concentrate on your studies and work on standing on your own two wobbly feet first and everything else will follow. As I’ve always said, for every person, God has made someone else somewhere. Believe me, he works in mysterious ways!”

“Okay Di! No one can win with you! By the way, how are the preparations for the grand finale tomorrow night? Isn’t it going to be Kalakshetra’s first attempt at performing this dance drama? I’m so excited and you in the lead role would be like icing on the cake! Isn’t it?”

Khanak smiled. Yes she’d been waiting in the wings for too long. Tomorrow she would get her long awaited dues.

 

Dakshin, Park Sheraton:

Shantanu was in culinary paradise as he worked his way slowly through the South Indian sampler at the popular Dakshin restaurant. His palate had never before savored such a myriad  blend of exotic flavors and heady combination of fresh spices. Everything  so different from his native fare yet still very much Indian. He was glad that he’d taken his friend Abhay’s advice and gone easy on breakfast and lunch for an empty stomach was a prerequisite to do justice to the sumptuous spread.

As he slurped up the savory Sambhar and took another bite of the unusual yet delicious Banana dosa, Abhay chipped in, “didn’t I tell you? Now you owe me one!” He chuckled.

“Oh definitely! I wouldn’t have wanted to miss this for anything! Waah! This beats continental any day! Maybe I can send Dibubhai here to get coached. Wonder if they’ll part with their recipes. Thanks for insisting on bringing me here!’ He relaxed back in his chair. “What a wonderful week we’ve had. Great music, dance and food! I’m already having withdrawal symptoms and we haven’t even left yet,” he said, a look of profound regret coming over his classically handsome features.

“Ha!” Abhay exclaimed shaking his head, “You are always one for melodrama. Behave like regular people for a change!”

“No Abhay! I’m serious. I swear! After coming here, thanks to you, I’ve realized that our country has so much to offer that a lifetime may not be enough to explore it. We should celebrate our culture so the whole world sits up and pays attention! In fact I’m thinking of including some Bharathnatyam in our show. What do you think Abhay?” His eyes shone with excitement.

“That’s a great idea Shan! It’ll be a first, but how?”

“Yes, how?” Shan repeated pensively while watching the musicians play live mellifluous Carnatic (South Indian Classical) music. His hands and feet kept involuntary rhythm with the talam (beat).“Let’s sleep on it tonight. Meanwhile, if we don’t hurry we are sure to miss the opening act of the Grand finale performance.”

“Oh Yes, I almost forgot! Kalakshetra’s putting on Shakuntala for the first time! What a way to end the season!”

“Yes, isn’t it? I’m curious as to who would play the title role!”

“Me too. Let’s go!”

Continue reading

My Romance Radio Network Interview

Inconvenient relations C

It’s here! Me on my book in my own words 🙂

Desmond Haas, an author himself, honored me with an interview for his Romance Radio Network. He read the book and loved it (surprise, surprise!) and asked some very insightful questions which I tried to respond to the best I could. The audio quality is not the best (I was on my cell) but fairly intelligible. Please give a listen. This interview was for the first edition which was titled ‘An Incurable Insanity’. The revised edition is titled ‘Inconvenient Relations.’

ROMANCE RADIO NETWORK INTERVIEW: CLICK HERE!

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The Bashful Bride – Innocence Unveiled in ‘Inconvenient Relations’

the shy bride

The Bashful Bride

`

She sits on the rose strewn bed

A bashful bride

In all her jeweled splendor

Hennaed hands resting on drawn up knees

Innocent and uninitiated

Awaiting the approach of her beloved

`

The bombshell had dropped on their wedding night. He had walked into the room late as she sat there, a shy bride in all her wedding finery waiting, nervous yet excited at the same time, to meet the man she had hardly spoken to or looked at. What would he say, talk about, or do?

She had heard a lot of stories about what to expect, some factual and some fabricated (her friends had prepared her well), but she wanted her own to be special, unique, and it was…

Sitting down on the bed in front of her, he had taken her hand in his and said very gently, as if to tone down the trauma, “I bet you are one of the most beautiful brides in the world, but I’m sorry I cannot make love to you. There is someone else.”- An Incurable Insanity

Solah Shringar

The 16 basic steps of bridal adornment which correspond to the 16 phases of the moon. Shringar is derived from the word Shri or Lakshmi; the Goddess of wealth, beauty and prosperity. The wedding day is considered the most significant in a woman’s life- one which marks her transition into womanhood.

1. Gajra (string of Jasmine flowers): Hair is styled and adorned with the fragrant Gajra and jewelry.

2. Maang-teeka: generally made of gold, silver and precious stones, Maang teeka is worn in the central parting of hair.

3. Sindoor: is the vermilion powder that is worn in the center parting of hair. A symbol of marriage, it is placed for the first time by the groom during the marriage ritual.

4. Bindi or tilak: A red vermilion dot worn in the center of the forehead.

5. Kajal or Kohl: Black eyeliner to enhance the bride’s beautiful eyes traditionally made from the soot of an earthen lamp with the wick placed in clarified butter.

6. Nath or Nose ring: By far the most ethnic and traditional of Indian looks.

7. Elaborate jeweled earrings: whose weight is supported by a chain affixed to the hair.

8. Necklace: Of different lengths and styles adorn the neck. The most sacred is the mangalsootra, given by the groom during the wedding ceremony made of black beads.

9. Armlets: Worn on both upper arms.

10. Bangles and bracelets: Made of glass, gold, silver and precious gems are the most visible sign of marriage.

11. Mehndi or Henna: Applied to the hands and feet in intricate design is meant to strengthen the bond of love.

12. Rings and Hathphool (Flower of the hand): A bride wears 4 rings on each hand which are connected together by a central medallion called the Hathphool, which in turn is connected to a bracelet.

13. Aarsi or mirrored thumb ring: The bride wears this so to be able to glance at herself and take a peek at her husband as well through the cover of her veil. 😉

14. Waistband or Kamarband: A beautifully designed silver or gold belt encrusted with precious and semi precious gems which serves a dual purpose- enhancing the waist besides holding up the weight of the heavy sari or skirt.

15. Anklets or Payal: A chain of silver edged with clusters of tiny bells worn around both ankles that make a pleasant tinkling sound when the bride moves.

16. Toe ring: Usually worn on the second toe of either or both feet are  symbols of marriage.

The Bridal dress: This can be a sari or a ghagra choli (traditional skirt and blouse) and is usually red in color because red is considered auspicious. It is richly embroidered in gold which ensures ceremonial purity.

traditional-toe-rings

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Shakti- the Divine woman & another ‘Inconvenient Relations’ excerpt :)

shakti-goddess

WOMAN

`

From time immemorial

This has been a woman’s lot

That a man is more equal than she

History has not forgot

`

She toiled with him everyday

Made sure he was fed

Going sometimes without

Would anyone care if she were dead

`

She bore him sons

Despite incredible pain

Her daughters he rejected

‘Coz they brought him shame

`

He covered her up from head to toe

Treating her like some possession

Shackled her up in his house

Scourged her for his own indiscretions

`

Would you find people more hypocrite

In any other part of the world

Who deify innumerable goddesses

Yet smother the baby girl?

Inconvenient relations C

` Excerpt From ‘INCONVENIENT RELATIONS’

I AM WOMAN

`

“Can I speak to Shaan?” The voice was female.

 Taking a deep breath, Ruhi answered, “He is still sleeping. May I know who is calling?”

 “Tell him it’s Des. I need to talk to him. He hasn’t been answering my calls!”She had a young but high-pitched voice, a woman who was used to getting her way and who wouldn’t take no for an answer.

 Ruhi bristled with anger. “You can call back in half an hour. He should be up by then.”She hung up.

Soon she could hear him in his room talking and arguing on the phone. She ran into the master and locked the door to shut out the sound.

 Almost a month had passed since they had been together, and she still felt clueless about him. He was like a giant jigsaw puzzle with the key pieces missing. He seemed good at times, caring,

kind. Perhaps it was just his nature, and he really didn’t consider her special. What was certain was that he continued to see this other woman, and Ruhi’s presence hadn’t altered it. Her rival appeared larger than life, and she had lost the fight even before it had begun.

 “Aren’t you going to eat?”

 “I’m not hungry.”

 “Well, that’s something I cannot say to tell you the truth. You have influenced my taste completely.” He smiled.

 “Have I?”

 “Well, here’s my clean plate as evidence.”

 “I’m not talking about food.”

 “Then what are you talking about?” His guard was up.

 “I have been here for quite some time now, and I still feel that you are a complete stranger to me. I was thinking…”

 “What do you want to know?”

“What is she like? Who is she? What kind of relationship do you share? Tell me. I think that I have a right to know.”

 “That’s none of your business. I don’t want to talk about it. Another four weeks and you will be back home. Let’s just leave it at that,” he said, abruptly brushing her off.

 None of my business. She left the table before she threw her fork at him.

None of your business…

The words echoed over and over in her brain like a never ending sermon.

 She sat on the bed with her knees drawn up; her tears had run dry. No words could be more hurtful or decisive. He had been done with her from the very beginning, and she like a fool had believed that she could win him over by playing the ideal Indian wife. He’d probably been laughing at her all along. I can’t stay any longer, I have to leave now! Papa will get me the tickets. Reaching for the phone, she hesitated. Her parents had no idea about what was going on. She had made a conscious decision to not tell them anything. They would be shocked, heartbroken. She had to break it to them gently, but for that, she would need to stay.

 But how? Not like this!

 Pulling off her maroon sari, she stuffed it in the bottom of her still mostly unpacked suitcase. She hated it. Then walking into the bath, she assessed herself in the mirror. If marriage held no meaning for him, why should it for me? If everything was going to come to an end in another month, why not now? Why continue with this charade?

 Unclasping the sacred marriage necklace from around her neck, she laid it down carefully on the counter. Then, wiping off the vermilion dot from her forehead, she examined her face again.

 She smiled. Finally, she knew who she was. She was Ruhi Sharma, and there was no looking back.

““`

Do you sense a change of pace here?

The heroine of my book cannot take it anymore. Ruhi’s done trying and has decided to move on. She chooses to lead life on her own terms.

Don’t be deceived by her sweet disposition, or her slender figure for she is ‘Shakti’–a divine cosmic force that can not only create but also destroy. At the base of her spine resides ‘Kundalini’ energy–a powerful goddess waiting to be awakened.

She is bold and liberated. She speaks her mind. She is tough and vibrant. She knows what she wants and doesn’t compromise on her values.

Yes, at times she is also a tease, impulsive, confused, brash, reactive, headstrong, vulnerable, fragile, infuriating and… a spoiled brat, but she is who she is– her own unique self. 😉

`

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———000——

AND LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST, AS A GIFT TO MY LOYAL READERS I’VE CHOSEN TO PUBLISH AS I WRITE BOOK 2 OF THE ARRANGED MATCH SERIES (THE CONTINUATION OF THE SHAAN AND RUHI SAGA) On WATTPAD— YEAH!

Now and forever cover image

Please follow me– TheWriteDoc, read and share your thoughts. I promise you’ll enjoy it!

Thank you,

Simi